As If I Needed To Prove My Motto

It’s been a rough week.

It’s actually been a rough few months, with three family members on their way out of this world, and two of those three with illnesses taking them much too young.

Then this Saturday, my good friend and fabulous poet was killed in a bicycle accident in Queens. He was 36. I’m still reeling from the loss, and can’t even imagine what his family is going through.

Life seemed bleak and ridiculously cruel. There were bad days. But then thoughts of my motto kicked in: Life is short. Don’t wait.

I’ll say. I picked my head up and looked around.

As If I Needed To Prove My Motto

A snowy path in Taos Ski Valley.

I toasted my friend one more time, then dusted myself off.

As If I Needed To Prove My Motto

Sam lives my motto every single day.

I know you’ve lost loved ones, too, and I don’t mean to be a downer – just the opposite. There’s nothing like mortality to force you out of your chair and back into the world. So all I want to say is this: grab every day by the (pick a body part) and live it with all you’ve got. May we all have long life and the health to enjoy it. Cheers.

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  1. Manisha January 22, 2015 at 8:40 am #

    I’m sorry to hear about all this from you, Deonne. I haven’t had much experience with loss but got a good dose of it when Dave lost his brother last January. It’s true that the experience brought all of us closer and helped us appreciate life. Sending you lots of love and wishing you find the necessary comfort. Much love to you – Manisha
    Manisha recently posted…STILL – inspiredMy Profile

    • deonne January 22, 2015 at 12:36 pm #

      Manisha – I remember that about Dave’s brother, and at least it had some positive effects for your family. Not that it makes the loss any easier, but thank goodness for those unexpected benefits or we’d never get out of bed after experiencing it.

  2. Deborah Dash January 22, 2015 at 8:45 am #

    That is the darned truth. A high school classmate of mine was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on December 16 and passed away on December 23. She was the kindest, most cheerful person – everyone loved her. She left behind her husband of ~30 years and three young adult children.

    A couple of years ago I started knocking stuff off my bucket list because I realized I wasn’t getting any younger. I’ve ticked off the three biggest items. I figure I can always add more to the list, but the things I’ve always wanted have been accomplished now, and I can relax a bit because I won’t have to say “I never did X.”

    And that picture of Sam is PERFECT in every way. <3

    • deonne January 22, 2015 at 12:41 pm #

      Deborah – That’s awful about your friend. The longer we live, the higher the chances are we’ll have to deal with this. That’s great about your bucket list! I’ve started thinking about mine, and am hoping to knock off at least one thing this year. And I’m so glad you like the picture of Sam. He’s my little mood-enhancer. πŸ™‚

  3. Lori Reisenbichler January 22, 2015 at 9:01 am #


    So true, my friend. I’m so sorry that so many of your losses are coming all at once. And I’m so glad you have put yourself in a place where you can simply look up and see what’s in these photos. I lost a friend a few months ago, and the last time I saw her I didn’t know it would be the last time I saw her, but I’m pretty sure she knew. How I wish I’d hugged her instead of waving distractedly over my shoulder while talking to someone else. So this is my digital hug to you. I’m so happy we met and have stayed in touch, albeit long distance. I am living vicariously through you and your adventures and love, love, love the choices you’re making about your life. And now, after seeing that picture, I love your dog, too.

    • deonne January 22, 2015 at 12:43 pm #

      Lori – I’m so sorry about your friend, but I’m sure she knew how much you loved her, distracted or no. Please don’t waste more time worrying about it. And I’ll take your good wishes and virtual hug. πŸ™‚ I’m so glad we’re in touch, and am thrilled about your book. Please stay in touch.

  4. Emilie Vardaman January 22, 2015 at 9:44 am #

    I retired a year early – about two years earlier than I should have, financially. But I have my life, and my job was grinding me into the ground. I chose a better life with less money than a worse life with more.
    No regrets.
    Emilie Vardaman recently posted…To Key LargoMy Profile

    • deonne January 22, 2015 at 12:45 pm #

      Emilie – Wonderful! I’m so glad you made those choices, even if it puts a bit more financial strain on you. Cheers to living life in full.

  5. Glenda January 22, 2015 at 12:32 pm #

    So sorry for your multiple losses so close together. Time does help, but hurts a lot getting thete.

    • deonne January 22, 2015 at 12:46 pm #

      Glenda – Thank you, and you’re right about time. My ever-optimistic self says since this is so much at once, I get a pass for at least another five years. πŸ™‚

  6. Brad January 22, 2015 at 5:49 pm #

    I’m sorry for your loss, Deonne. It’s one reason that I, years ago, decided to try to not get to o close to people I care about. Everyone in my pre marriage family has died, except for my father, who is 89 and getting on fairly well. I have few friends, but there are several acquaintances who I enjoy their company, but I’m not close. Weird, but it’s how I learned to cope. (Navy 1967-1973, and retired LEO)
    I wish you well, and hope you find peace. Sam will continue to keep you great company!

    • deonne January 22, 2015 at 6:28 pm #

      Brad – I know what you mean, getting close to people eventually means loss, and it especially makes sense you’d feel that way with what you must have been through in the Navy. Glad to hear that your dad is doing well, though, and yes – Sam is the best companion ever.

  7. Susi January 25, 2015 at 7:54 pm #

    Lost a soul mate two years ago, but she’s with us daily. Quite often we say “Goddammit, Ann!” because we miss her even more at certain times. We shared each others’ triumphs and defeats, always was there for us. But, we’re eternally grateful for the wonderful adventures we had and for her special friendship. I’m sorry for your sadness and understand e xactly where you are. I at least had the chance to say goodbye, which means the world to me. Thinking of you and sending hugs.

    • deonne January 26, 2015 at 8:45 am #

      Susi – I love that. I’m going to add, Goddammit, Hoyt! to my repertoire. Thanks for the hugs and empathy. Love to you.

  8. Sherry in MT January 26, 2015 at 2:22 pm #

    Those kind of slaps are hard doses of reality but you are so very right to listen to and live your motto…..just as Sam does!!!! πŸ™‚ Hugs!
    Sherry in MT recently posted…Pre-Training WalkMy Profile

    • deonne January 27, 2015 at 6:57 am #

      Sherry – So true. Thanks for the hugs!

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