Funerals bring up other feelings in addition to sadness.

With Grandma there was a sense of relief, which seems unkind, but it’s not. She’d been mostly sad and lonely since her husband died four years ago, and her health was terrible – she was bedridden, which is no life for a woman as active as she was.

I also felt a clear sense of endings. She was my last grandparent, and her death officially put a line through that row on the family tree. Sad but true.

Then there was the, um, friskiness. (I’ve had inappropriate urges before.) Driving that first day from New Mexico to South Dakota, I was not only sad, I was, how shall I say? Thinking about activities that certainly wouldn’t be happening for me in Winner.

It was so overwhelming that as I drove through Colorado Springs I glanced at a billboard and could swear it said “Sex & Grieving.” (Yes! I thought. Confirmation from the universe.) But when I looked again it actually said “Six & Geving,” a local insurance company. The universe was just messing with me.

That passed by the time I got to Winner, when the other emotions settled in for the weekend.

The weather was perfect for a funeral. Fog and gray skies and icy winds. Uncomfortable to be out in, but it made for some beautiful landscape.


An outbuilding at Grandma and Grandpa’s farm.


A road to somewhere, or nowhere.


The barn on the farm, still standing, still solid. Good to know some things remain.

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  1. Deborah Dash February 13, 2015 at 8:22 am #

    I realize that “Winner” is the name of the town, but it also struck me as a funny/strange/ironic title for a blog piece about a funeral.

    • deonne February 13, 2015 at 9:28 am #

      Deborah – Exactly.

  2. Terri February 13, 2015 at 11:27 am #

    At first when I saw the blog post title, I thought you were going to tell us you won Powerball or knew someone who did!

    Beautiful photos, Deonne. And I know that feeling of relief you mentioned. Now she’s with her husband. It is sad though when an entire generation is gone.

    • deonne February 13, 2015 at 2:41 pm #

      Terri – I knew the title would throw people. It’s funny having that be the name of your hometown, like your success is preordained, ha. And thanks for the kind words. End of an era.

  3. Susan Carpenter Sims February 13, 2015 at 12:33 pm #

    You totally need to write a book called Sex and Grieving.

    • deonne February 13, 2015 at 2:41 pm #

      Susan – Yes! My next novel.

  4. Brad February 13, 2015 at 7:39 pm #

    Deonne, you have a beautiful use of words, and the accompanying photos are, also, beautiful and fittingly somber. I’m sorry for your loss and wish you well, happiness and peace.

    • deonne February 13, 2015 at 7:58 pm #

      Brad – Thank you. I’m feeling better about it now, but am also pulled to go back and take more photos and record more stories. We’ll see.

  5. Emilie Vardaman February 13, 2015 at 7:58 pm #

    I love sex and grieving!
    Love photos. Stay well.
    Emilie Vardaman recently posted…And on to Key WestMy Profile

    • deonne February 13, 2015 at 7:59 pm #

      Emilie – Yes! They go together in a logical but strange way. Thanks for the comment.

  6. Sherry in MT February 16, 2015 at 8:17 am #

    I love the old farmstead photos and glad you took the time to take them. Death does sometimes bring up weird feelings doesn’t it – and I think we all understand the one of relief when someone passes that was so sad. Glad you shared this with us!
    Sherry in MT recently posted…Weekend ReliefMy Profile

    • deonne February 16, 2015 at 11:24 am #

      Thanks, as always, for the kind comment, Sherry!

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